They Called Her Sunshine

Preface: This entry has been drawn from my own personal experiences, conclusions, and past.

Today, I was thinking back. I have no idea what has propelled me into these memories so quickly, but alas, here I am., back in time, searching myself over.

No doubt, the “grunge era” as we so frequently called it, was the best time to be a teenager. We braided our hair, stayed out all night, strummed our guitars, and felt the freedom of new voices. Voices that reached out to us over airwaves and backdoors. Through music and conversation. Through books and new ideas about the future.

We burst forth into a lifestyle that seemed fool proof, and embraced it. Each day was a new kind of adventure, filled with magic, laughter, and the great wide open. The unknown. Rolling with each moment, seeking out new ways to kill the boredom of small town living.

And kill it, we did.

Piercings and Green hair (Hello Michael!!!), shooting pool and “loitering”. Braiding the guys hair until my fingers felt as though they were going to fall off any second. Deep discussions regarding purity versus one night stands, religion, and of course, love.

There was loss, but we learned and gained.

There was strife, but we hugged and loved, in the end.

I think that, in many ways, we were a whole lot wiser than we ever gave ourselves credit for. Especially to be so young.

Back then, we were urged to think and search. Conclude for ourselves. Obsessed with lyrics, as I have always been, I think back to the music that dripped around our lives, back then.

“love and hate get it wrong
she cut me right back down to size
sleep the day let it fade
who was there to take your place
no one knows never will
mostly me but mostly you
what do you say do you do when it all comes down”

And somehow, we understood this? Well, yes. That was part of life, back then. Deciphering the meaning from the meaningless. Then making meaning out of just about anything we could wrap our minds around.

Propelling an entire generation into what is now, the 30-somethings. A new breed of lovers, dreamers, free spirits, nomads, and open minds.

Sometimes, we have difficulty finding an exact niche. The younger individuals who never experienced this type of camaraderie seem to expect so much more than we ever did…despite the fact that yes, some of the members of the “grunge era” bought their flannel at Abercrombie And Fitch. That never mattered…not then.

We just WERE who we WERE.

And gladly, still ARE.

“Must be your skin
I'm sinking in
must be for real
cuz now I can feel
and I didn't mind
it's not my kind not my time
to wonder why everything's gone white
and everything's gray
now you're here now you're away
I don't want this
remember that
I'll never forget where you're at
don't let the days go by…”

In loving memory of Jonathan Alan Jackson.
February 6, 1978 - July 5, 2000
(Not a day goes by that you don’t make me smile.)