Morning Mind Meanderings.

As I was driving back home from running some errands this morning, my mind began to revisit the past. This often happens when I am alone in my car or some sort of pivotal moment is occurring in my life. Sometimes both.

Regardless, I can never help but write about the thoughts that dance with my mind, make me smile, and realize more than I ever thought possible.

As I walked up stairs this morning, I noticed how normal it all felt. How the past had prepared me for all of what this current life has become.
The church I grew up in was not necessarily one you may call conventional. It did bring great opportunities and connections I will forever hold dear to my heart. Memories I wouldn't trade for the world.

A seething ambition had driven my heart to the land of higher learning at an early age and continued to do so for 8 years of my life.

Moving in and out of hotels and packing lightly was something I felt to be normal. As I reached my mid twenties, I had discovered that traveling was something I was pretty good at!

After many life lessons, experiences, and fulfilled dreams, my premature marriage came to a close. I suppose I learned quite a lot from this particular experience but somehow felt as though I had wasted much of my time, as well.

Finally able to be me, I ran with life as though it were a kite on the end of a great long string. I watched in partial dismay as it soared higher and higher, taking me to places I never dreamed of being, yet feeling it as “normal”, all the same.

Waking up to all of the New York mornings always felt so natural. Catching a train to Penn Station…taking the Subway to Chinatown. It was all just…LIFE. My past had conditioned me to adapt to whatever life situation I was in. Living on Pizza, Sandwiches, Coffee, and Cherry Danishes (Que the laughter) I began to feel the new home cradle me, as I always did when away from what was supposedly my home.
I will never be able to recall the number of individuals I have met along my New York journey. After making many amazing connections, singing at the Nautical Mile, attending events with WBAB, and countless weddings with a very talented Videographer from Long Island, I felt fulfilled. I was living a good life and enjoyed each new experience, eagerly awaiting the next.

Thus far, my 30’s have been the best years of my life. I believe this is due, in part, to the fact that I have learned a thing or two. I have a stronger handle on things…more control over my own destiny than before.
Never have I been happier. Never have I been filled with such a great amount of peace. I suppose that’s what life is about. Peace. Once you find it, you hold on like hell.
Finding happiness in life’s simplicities. Enjoying the sunshine beaming down onto your skin. Swimming weightlessly through water and life and time. The days roll by quickly and firmly and life continues to grow with a great boldness.

I have come to realize that one can never “find” a life that suits them.
That life will ultimately find you.
You can run but you can never hide.