The Surface Of Things

She awakened everyone, screaming out into the darkness. No one around her could extinguish such a sound. She screamed for what seemed like an eternity, but was really about five minutes, Her throat was raw and sore. Things seemed so unreal. She was looking at the apartment on Jekyll Island, but it appeared unlike any place she had ever been. She would later learn that it was the exact moment, only two states away, that her "poetic other half" was being taken back to the hospital. Taken back to be made "comfortable". And the next month, he was gone. 

I did not just write the above passage to depress. If I wanted to depress my readers, I would simply suggest they turn on their television sets and tune in to the news for about five minutes. Or perhaps instruct you to google divorce rates or mortgage foreclosures.

No. This was to serve another purpose. Instead of death, the passage is about life. Life and how one chooses to view it and live it.

I speak about breaking patterns. About changing games. About love. And this is why. After losing such a large part of myself: the person who encouraged me the be the individual I was. Who accepted me for "the all", and "the nothing", I brought to our table. Well, after that the world began to look drastically different. 

Why do we fight with one another more than "for" one another?
What is the deal with road rage?
You mean your soup is cold?! Perish the thought!
How dare that person say "this or that" about me!
That cannot be his/her new car?! How could they possibly afford it?
Did you see what she was wearing?
Let's go get drunk and forget this moment in time, altogether. 

We rush time. We look "forward" to things, without looking at our feet as we tread on the path beneath. 

Suddenly, arguments seemed petty and pointless. It makes more sense to stay calm and love the ones around you, despite what they may say or do to temporarily offend. After all, love knows no offense. 

Granted, I still have to wrestle with this one pattern on occasion. If someone pushes my heart a bit too hard, I may say something I immediately wish to take back and swallow hard. Thus, the point. How can one stay angry or hold grudges when so many tragedies plague this world. We should take the offender by the hand and love them more. We should forgive before they even ask for it. 

I am not suggesting door mat status, here...but have some grace. Be the bigger person. Take the highest road.

I say it is a pattern I wish to break, and I am. Each day, I learn to refrain, more and more. I see people for who they are and the weaknesses within them. We all have weaknesses. Some merely allow those weaknesses to overtake their life. Drive them into places stagnate and painful. If you can, try to pull them out, but if they begin to pull you in, let go. 

It sounds harsh, I know....But how could you ever save another, if you were pulled in, too?

Kind of like on an airplane when they instruct you to take the oxygen before you give it to your child. It sounds horrible, but you are unable to care for your child if you do not first care for yourself. 

My mission in life is to spread peace, joy, and love. I sound like the biggest hippie ever, but this is the truth. I could not live a life full of animosity or bitterness, spreading toxins and taking up God's earth with negativity. How sad must he be when I falter? He knows how important it is to me, to not. 

Fortunately, and unfortunately, I cannot stay angry. Not for very long. Whenever I look at someone, I catch glimpses of their inner child. The little boy or girl within, trying their hardest to be accepted or to live life happily. Sometimes, I see this inner child struggle. Sometimes laugh. Sometimes dance. 

So riddle me this....

How can one stay angry or bitter at such fragile and precious hearts?

We are all in this together. It makes no sense NOT to break the pattern of animosity, and just forgive.